Surgery
15 August 2006, 2357ZI have surgery on Thursday. I won't say what's it for—if I want you to know, I've already told you—but I will say that without this operation, I won't live past 30.
I got the news last Wednesday and it's been an incredibly stressful week. I've never had surgery before and, quite frankly, it scares the hell out of me. There are so many things about this that frighten me: the anesthesia, the pain, the possibility of losing my medical certificate (and thus my flying privileges), and worst of all, there's a chance I won't be cured.
People have suggested all kinds of things to put myself at ease, from simply being with friends to doing guided meditation. But flying Bob's jet was the best therapy I could've asked for. I flew that L-39, and for one hour, I felt invincible. Not in a reckless adolescent way, but in a way that gave me the strength to face something absolutely terrifying that I absolutely must endure.
Something else that I realized during that flight is that when I'm better, I'm done screwing around. I'm going to finish my flight instructor certificate, and I'm going to do the thing that I love for the rest of my life. It's a cliché to say that I'm gaining a fresh perspective on life, but it's the truth.
So, thanks Bob. I don't know if you took me up as a gift because of my situation, or if you just wanted to fly and I happened to be there at the right time. But it doesn't matter. Either way, flying with you gave me what I need to get through this.